Dear Hima
by MomoHeart
Summary: Kita Himawari. A girl who writes her life in the many journals she collects over the years. She talks of fear, resistance of love, and the changes that she may have caused by existing. The story of a reincarnated civilian girl residing in the village hidden in the leaves.


**A/N (PLEASE READ!):** So...hello everyone. I am so so sorry about the delay in updates. When I started this story I wanted something to do other than the book I was working on. Well, after a few stressful events, I was able to get back to work on my book and then this story popped into my head. I came to the site to look at it again..oh my gawd...how can anyone like this? It's so bad, I almost threw up on myself! I'm sorry that I subjected you all to it. However, instead of abandoning the story, I decided I wanted to continue it. So, I redid the outline. Changed the POV. And now I can honestly say, I'm sort of loving it again. Sorry that I had to start over on the ones that were waiting, but I couldn't continue the other version...anyway, please read and tell you what you think.

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**Prologue**

_Dear Journal,_

_I'll start with a hello? My name is Kita Himawari. Hima for short. And I can see the future?_

She groaned and tossed the journal across the room to her desk. It completely missed and tumbled to the floor, causing another groan to leave her.

_What was I thinking by buying that stupid thing?_ When she went out shopping with her mom one day, she saw in the display window of the bookstore a shimmering blue journal with the village's symbol stamped in the middle of it. Her first thought was that the thing was hideous. Who'd buy it? But, her mom told she could get one thing from the market and technically they were near the market when she saw it. It had a lot of pages, too, so why not? Her parents always stressed to her how she needed to pick up a hobby. And this would be perfect counting on what she knew.

Maybe if Hima could write everything that she remembered from the _past_ and mixed it in with her daily life, then ten to twenty years from now, she could convince herself she wasn't going crazy. This new life…it felt like a dream. A village full of ninjas. It seemed so surreal and at the same time, a bit scary. What if one of them was to find her journal? Or worse, her mom cleaned her room and it so happened to fall open? How would she explain herself?

_Oh well…what had happened was that my soul decided to it wasn't ready to see the big guy so you know…instead of going to, oh I don't know, SOMEWHERE SAFE, I came to your lovely war torn world. Yep, popped right on in and made myself at home! Huh? No, I'm completely sane. Can you pass the tea?_

Hima shook her head and fell back on her bed to glare up at the ceiling. It was a very slim chance that anyone would find it counting on she made a vow to carry the thing everywhere with her. Risking being exposed just wasn't something she was ready to face. And just in case of exposure, exaggerating a bit was her best bet. Then it'll just be an elaborate story some kid just had to get on paper.

_I'm in the Naruto world,_ she thought for the billionth time since remembering. Maybe it was more than that; she didn't keep count. Thinking made it weird, but saying it out loud would really make her want to off herself.

When Hima was born, it was as normal as any birth could be. She cried when leaving the womb. Her parents were happy. She was named and then the next three years were a blur. At age four, she'd remember bits and pieces of her past life and by age five, she had every single memory of…remembering the name gave her a bad taste in her mouth. And straining to remember how she died in the first place made tears spring to her eyes. Maybe the memory was repressed and it wasn't meant for seeing yet. She didn't mind. Hima could go another few years without having to think of anything that had to do with death.

As the memories came back, however, she cried most nights. As a child, being oblivious to what was going on around you had its advantages. She loved how the headbands on the ninjas shined in the sun and for the longest time thought they were a fashion accessory. She begged her mom for them, until her old mind came to the surface. Her parents came to her a few years later asking if she wanted to join the academy. To say she locked herself in her room and refused to come out for days was an understatement. Her sister had to sleep in the living room until she opened the door.

She didn't know if she should be happy about her new life or sad that she had to be in a world where your already short life could end just by stepping out of your door. Literally. Another sad truth was that she'd be in the middle of two wars if she even survived one. The timeline was with a young Jiraiya and Minato that was around her age. She knew because she'd seen the Hokage mountain and it only had three heads. Plus, she peeked in on the ninja academy one day while walking with her sister and saw blond spikes. She couldn't tell for sure if it was him, but a blur of red running away from a few boys gave her the answer she needed.

"Whatever," she sighed and sat up in the bed. "I lived a clichéd life. And who cares if I get killed. I already died once. Maybe I'll go to heaven this time." Hima slid off her bed and retrieved the journal. The page she'd been writing on previously was torn out. She wouldn't stop being afraid and being a civilian made her nerves rattle, but being a ninja would have been worse for her. She'd just have to live with it. With other sigh, she placed her pen on the paper…

_Dear Journal,_

_My name is Kita Himawari. Hima for short. I live a normal boring life with no hope that I'll ever amount to anything. I see things I'm not supposed to. I know vaguely how others will die and I know how some will live for the rest of their lives. Am I crazy? Probably. But that's where you come in, Journal. You're going to provide me with a sense of peace I know my life out here in the real world will never let me have. And it's okay. Because it isn't as stressful as being a shinobi. Hopefully, in my later years, I won't die from say a huge beast attack or a big snake ready to swallow me whole. The odds, right? But hey, that'll probably be the only excitement I'll have. Anyway, I'm going to end this here. Please don't freight. I still have a lot to say and it'll never be enough. _

_-Hima_

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**A/N:** So?...how was it? I hope you enjoyed it and that it was a little better than the last one. Also Chapter One will be published one day this week. Until next time!


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